Record warmth for the end of the week.

I am completely worn out.

Tired. Tired. Tired.

But, I don't feel like sleeping.

This week has been the longest week ever and it's only Tuesday. I think it's because Spring Break was last week. I have to go back to school...to routines and homework and having to wear shoes.

Three things I'm really not a fan of.

My Spring Break was really great. I didn't go anywhere exotic or really exciting for that matter. I went shopping in Louisville with Rebecca, Lauren, and Alyssa one day. That was really special to me, I really love those girls.

Thursday of Spring Break some of us from the youth group rented a cabin at Patoka and stayed the night. It was raining, but we broke out the board games, made a huge dinner together, and watched the movies I brought (The Princess Bride and Big Fish--props to the boys for putting up with that.) The next day we went out to Tucker Lake and hiked and while some of us conquered the insanely huge hill....monsterous hill. Some of us (me and a few smart girls) took photos then walked up the stairs slowly.

I also tie-dyed, but you already read about that in the last post, aye?

I was also sick Sunday night/Monday of break, but even that wasn't that bad because I watched a million episodes of Ghost Whisperer...which is epic.

Tonight I went to group and I cried. I just wanted to put that because crying in public for personal matters (not movies, books, etc) is really hard for me. But, Gary made a really good point and I started to cry...so I left the room. And I want to publically acknowledge that it happened because it makes me feel a little bit more in touch with what really happened in my heart at that moment. Because I tend to take bad things and shove them aside and stick them into little sections of my mind. Each section of my life has compartments, and they use to never touch..but now the little pieces of my life seem to be falling together and mixing ever so slightly and it has my mind and my heart in a bit of disarray.

But, even when I do cry in public. Or cry not in public I refuse to give up the fact that God is in control even though it doesn't really feel like it at some moments.

And maybe this mix up of the compartments I've tried to hard to keep organized and seperate can lead to something big and great that I never could have planned.

That's Gretchen, her dad invented toaster streudel.

One of my most favorite things to do ever is tie-dye.

I mean, it's messy, it's colorful, and everything you make is completely different from everything else ever tie-dyed.

It's kind of like snowflakes, but bright colors and rocked by hippies.

I always have a plan for my tie-dye and I follow instructions and I try really hard to get my colors in the right place, and it never turns out how I planned it.

But, it always amazes me how it turns out.

I wonder if God is like that, you know? He prepares us and He puts everything in its place, but we unfurl ourselves into something a little different than He had planned, but good nonetheless. Something He delights in watching and admiring.

I don't know, I guess it depends on how much control you think God has...and I don't want to get into all that because it goes down the path into pre-destination. And, as much as I love to ponder things...no.

I do think that God blesses us with different talents and traits, but He gives us free reign on how we express them. I mean, there are so many artistic people, but the way they express themselves is different. There are so many painting styles, someone had to come up with each one. They didn't magically appear. God gave both Monet and Picasso artistic abilities, but look how different their painting styles are! Michaelangelo and Renior; every famous painter I can think of is different than another. But, they all paint.

Or dancers. I can't dance worth anything (although I like to think I can), but I don't have to be a good dancer to see how many different styles of dance there are. I watch So You Think You Can Dance. Two people can be amazing dancers, but one prefers ballet and the other crunk. (I just wanted to use the word crunk, let's be honest.) There's ballroom, jazz, alternative...the list goes on and on.

Does that make sense? I think I'm getting across what I'm thinking.

It's kind of amazing to think that I'm my own person within the talents God has blessed me with. It gives me room to grow and breath and serve God through my talents in a way that I am passionate about. Instead of giving someone a water color (I despise water color), I could spread God's love to someone with a charcoal.

It's a nice feeling, you know?

You freed me! You presented my master with a sock!

Ah, spring break.

You are my best friend.

Activities planned for this week are of the following:
-Sleep
-Sleep
-Sleep
-Watch Disney movies
-Bonfire
-Work
-Sleep
-Stay at a cabin at Patoka with the youth group
-Sleep
-Go see Shutter Island and The Crazies
-Sleep

Yes, that is the general plan for my spring break. Not the most exciting break in the world, but I don't really care all that much. Just as long as I can sleep a lot. I've got to say it one more time, the thought of it is just too wonderful: SLEEP!

Today is the Harry Potter movie marathon on ABC Family, so I'm going to curl up in bed and watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix (my second favorite of the series) instead of doing productive things like clean my insanely messy room.

Yesterday I went shopping in Louisville with Rebecca, Alyssa, and Lauren. We went to the Mall of St. Matthews and the other one that's farther on down the highway. Epic time I must say. I splurged a little and bought some gladiator sandals and a floral maxi-dress. I'm assuming that I will wear them so much that they will pretty much pay for themselves.

Today the cleaning lady is here and I guess she mopped the bathroom, so it was still wet. I walked in and practically did the splits. You know, everyone is good at something. Does my talent have to be falling down? Because I pretty much excel in the art of klutzery. Honestly.

Well, the Hogwarts School of Magic is calling me.

Farewell.

Let me tell you a story.

At five o' clock this morning I awaken to the sound of scratching and meowing on my bedroom door.

"Mold. Seriously." That was me, whisper yelling.

Not so effective.

"Mold. Come on!" Not so much whispering ten minutes later.

Still not effective.

"I'm going to murder you. For real." Fling my legs off the side of my bed and pull my sleepy body toward the door. Kick door lightly a few times. End up back in bed, but I don't remember the act of walking over to it.

Effective. Fall back asleep.

I wake up at 30 minutes after my alarm clock goes off and turn on my coffee maker which is conveniently located about two feet away from the foot of my bed. Open door and step in pile of clothes that resemble mine. I know because they are tye-die, plaid, and one has paint on it. Throw clothes back in room, wondering why they are in the hallway.

They were the clothes that were originally on the other side of the CLOSED door, about a foot away from the door. Mold had stuck her paw under the door (At least a foot into my room, how is this possible? It's a cat, not a member of the flipping Fantastic Four!). Mold had pulled the clothes under the door into the hallway and piled them all up there.

That was a very long, not so exciting story brought you by Melissa. Brought to you by viewers like you.

Thank you.

Grande Caffe Mocha with Soy Milk, No Whip

I wish I could just get up and go somewhere right now. Anywhere really.

I just feel like being in car with the windows down, driving someplace. I don't even care where as long as there are people that I love there.

For some reason (well a God reason) I feel like my heart is at peace. I feel like my body has been completely filled up with peace.

Like the feeling of my feet sinking into cool sand.

Or when you just got done sledding and you take a gulp of hot chocolate and your body heats up from the inside out.

I just feel good. I know God is in control of whatever is going to happen.

Is this the acceptance of the fact that He is in control, or that I don't have to be that makes me feel so content?

I sat on the hood of my car today, waiting for Gary to get to church and just looked at the stars.

And I knew that everything is okay and will be okay, wherever my life goes.

Wherever I end up. Or who I end up with.

I tend to fill up my life with what if's. What if's do nothing but take you nowhere. And I don't want to circle around in nowhere, I want to go where God wants me to. So I need to shoot down the little What-If Monsters that always plague my thoughts and I need to take ahold of the thought that God is good. And all is good, and by good I mean all that is going to happen and is happening I CAN HANDLE WITH HIM.

What if I can't do it?

Bam. You're dead silly question.

I can do anything.

Oh, the esophagus,

Turn on your oven to 200 degrees.

Put a large piece of foil on the rack of the oven.

Take a pie pan and lay a record on top of it and in the oven for about two or three minutes until it get a little droopy and melty.

Take the record out of the oven (with the pie pan under it still).

Quickly mush the record around the pie pan, or flip it over and squish the edges together until you have a bowl shape. (Make sure you have pot holders to do it with or you will burn your hands pretty well.)

Waaalaaaa you have a record bowl! Or a record that is not in it's original record shape, nonetheless amazing in its own unique way.

Get a group of friends, lots of records from a yard sale, make some pizza and cookies, and have one epic night of burnt fingertips and record molding.

That is what we did. Success.

Oh, and I want to give a big huge thank you to God for this insanely amazing, heartbreaking, make me want summer, lovely weather.

Okay, I'm gonna go watch Big Fish and fall asleep at the part when he goes to fix the house of the witch/girl that I don't really understand.

Dreaming is the way to go

One of the most empowering things ever is to drive with a pair of black high heels on your feet (pictured left).

I did that Saturday and I felt like I was in one of those action movies where the girl wears the impossible high heels and still manages to kick butt.

I mean, I didn't kick anyone's butt Saturday. . .but I'm sure I could have if the need had arisen.

I could have saved the day in my black high heels.

Except for the fact that they hurt and about ten minutes into the semi-formal I kicked them off so I could do the organized dances witout huge amounts of pain.

I don't do frivolous dancing due to the fact that I am an awful dancer. But, I mean bring on the organized, choreographed dances like the cha-cha slide and the rump shaker. . .

I just want to throw a shout-out to McDonald's sweet tea!

One thing I've noticed is the lack of passion and joy in people lately, especially in myself. I think it's the winter weather. . .lack of melatonin and all that jazz. So, I've been doing little things to beat back the winter sadness. Spring is so close! So close! And, I'm so incredibly ready to throw my coat in the closet until next year.

Melissa's List of Little Things to Make it a Happy Day:
1. Play "Walking on Sunshine" when you wake up
2. Wear brightly colored socks
3. Smile at yourself in the mirror when you brush your teeth
4. Watch Disney movies with friends and sing along loudly
5. Answer the phone, "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"
6. Think of ways to compliment people
7. Do the moonwalk down the hallway at school
8. Buy new, fresh smelling bodywash
9. Hug everyone
10. "May the God of hope fill you all with joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." -Romans 15:13