Holding down the balloons.

I've been waking up so late this break . . . I didn't get up until 11 this morning. When I get up so late I feel like I've just been wasting time. It slightly makes me grumpy for the rest of the day as well . . . sorry people.

Callie-Ann is up and I'm very happy about it.

Monday night she, Lindsay, Rebecca, and I played with Lindsay's Christmas present from her sister (pictured left). I'm pretty sure that we dominated the game, especially the Thriller. We might be even better at dancing like Michael Jackson than Michael Jackson was.

That was probably the biggest over-statement of the year.

I still smell like smoke from Gables, I'm going to shower in a minute. It takes forever to wash the smoke smell from my hair.

I got a new phone, which really isn't that exciting for anyone since I'm really bad at answering it. I say that I don't want to be a person who is constantly attached to their phone (and I'm not), but I think that the only thing I accomplish is really annoying people. It will be okay though. People survived without cell phones, I think we can too.

Yep, that's about all I feel like writing.

Have a wonderful Wednesday.

Kindle

Happy day after Christmas!

I hope your Christmas was really awesome.

This Christmas my father and brother have decided to make me more acquainted with technology. I got a Kindle for Christmas and I'm super excited about it. I was skeptical at first, but I laid and bed and read for hours last night. I love it. I'm only going to use it for fiction, though. I like to highlight and annotate in non-fiction books.

Anyway! Dad also got me a new television (mainly so I have a thinner one to take to college, although I doubt it will get much use). My old television was a monster, and was an odd triangle shape in the back so it didn't really fit anywhere. He was a good old dude though.

We shared many episodes of the Golden Girls together.

Dad won a Wii forever ago at a meeting, so he set it up on my television for me so I can play this dancing game. Right, on to the techno-geek part. We figured out how to connect my laptop and television via a HDMI (is that right?) cable. I felt so accomplished.

So, now I have so much technology in my room I can hear them hum.

I have humorous Christmas story to share, but I've wrote enough already.

So, you must wait.

A little alone time.

Good morning! If you can still consider it that.

I didn't get up until 10. Weird.

I've laid around my room drinking coffee and watching the Today Show which is really not that awesome. I can't seem to find the drive to get up, clean my room and part of the house that was deemed mine to clean, finish Christmas shopping for my dad, and then do so much laundry it should be illegal.

That was all very dramatic. I mean, I have a lot to do, but it seems like so much more when I have the mentality of a sloth like I do today.

Obviously it is almost Christmas time, so it makes sense to discuss Jesus as a person more than usual. Allen did an amazing job of stressing the importance of how we need to always remember Jesus's humanity or the whole gift He created for us is lessened.

Do you ever wonder what was Jesus's favorite color?

Or if He always sneezed in pairs like I do?

I want to know if He was left-handed or right-handed.

Did He laugh when one of the disciples fell down? I mean, as long as they didn't get hurt.

Like- "Bah hah Peter. You just tripped over a stick."

It's hard for me to fall madly in love with something who is fully untouchable, unreachable and undescribable. I can be in awe of these things. But, God made Himself something we know. Something we can relate to and fall in love with. I can learn to love someone who is just as human as me. Someone who bleeds when cut and laughs when something is really funny.

So, this three part deal: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (or Ghost, I've heard both). This three part harmony I accepted into my life almost seems to me like three different things I need to find a way to react to.

The Father is someone whom I fear and look up to, who I can think of in awe. This figure of stability and yet still remains completely mysterious. This light I cannot explain, but still try to. This Father figure who can comfort me and puzzle me all at the same time. Something I will always feel deeply connected to, but always find it hard to explain how much He means to me.

The Son is someone who became completely human so as to relate to me, yes? So, I can fully learn how to love this person. This human that cried the same way I cry today. A person who it is completely possible for me to try to follow because He had footsteps just like I do. This tremendous gift that broke the veil that seperated me from the Father. A human bridge.

The Holy Spirit is something I still try to understand. Is this the part I believe dwells within me? If I learn to love myself, follow the Son, and fear and admire the Father, does that mean I am honoring this Spirit? Is this the internal compass that helps me follow the Son and find strength in the Father?

Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. All three are one in the same, yet still three parts of a whole. Can I react to these parts differently and in that difference make up how I feel about the whole? Either way, I'm chasing after the Son, while the Father is running after me and giving me ground to run on, and the Spirit is what is within me giving me the strength to lift my feet with every step. That's how I feel about it. All together it gives me a peace I can't describe, a peace I lost for a while.

I wasn't expecting to come up with all these questions. . .I was expecting to write about how much I love the humanity of Jesus and how it defines our religion in a way no other religion seems to. Anyway, there you go.

Anatomically Correct Cookies

Sunday night was Christmas time with my closest friends. Which was amazing.

I would tell you about it, but it's probably not worth telling.

Monday was the yearly Christmas Girl's Day. We had a cookie decorating contest (I got second place, I made a fish), watched Elf (well, I napped during Elf), ate enough white chili to make a moose vomit, and then loaded up in the church van and went to Versailles to see Lindsay's Grandpa's Christmas lights.

He's kind of a big deal. Just look him up on the internet.

Dad bought us Netflix, and it's so insanely amazing. We have on demand stuff and every single season of Bones is on there. I almost melted. I'm so happy. I've watched eleven episodes of the first season already.

Dude, you have no idea how excited I am about this.

Merry Christmas Wilson family!

Ambiguity in endings.

Due to icy roads it is officially the start of our Christmas break.

Don't get me wrong, I adore snow days . . . but having to come back after three weeks and take a calculus final kinda makes me angry. It's going to be hard enough as it is!

It's like our town doesn't know how to use snowplows. Don't they know we don't want to be going to school into June? Again?

Anyway, on a happy note. All of my Christmas shopping is done (well, except for my Dad's stocking stuff). I can't wait to give everyone everything. I really like playing the role of Santa.

I'm reading The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield for the second time this school year. I hate how people who read a good book immediately decide it's their favorite. After reading Pride and Prejudice three times and the zombie version once and spending much time thinking about it I might say it is my favorite book. That not a commitment though. I'm saying this because this book, The Thirteenth Tale is one of those books that completely sucks me in. So much so that I completely lost touch with reality.

That's why I want to say that those books are my favorite.

The books that are so compelling that you start thinking like the book and totally forget yourself. I'm not saying I like the escapism, I like the other perspective.

I'm sure you've already thought of this.

Right, I'm going to go read and drink coffee and read and drink more coffee and shower for the first time in three days.

What? I haven't left my house since Wednesday and I took a shower Tuesday night.

Insert Title Here.

Guess who found the cord that connects their camera to their laptop?

That would be me!

Well, that's actually false. Dad found it God knows where and put it in my room. So, thanks Sam! It makes putting photos on my blog much more easy.

We are supposed to get an insane amount of snow tonight. I have not seen any snow at all. So, either I'm going to wake up happy there's no snow, or sad that there was a possibility of a snow day. Just so you know, if we miss tomorrow, but are at school Friday then our finals are shortened to a normal class period. That would make my life so very happy. It doesn't take me two hours to take most of the high school finals.

I'm supa nervous about Calculus finals, though.

Jesus please be with me.

Oh, funny moment: I was at Sam's Club with Lindsay and I was pushing the cart down the aisle and we pass the collections of TV shows on DVD. Lindsays says there's the Golden Girls collections so I leave the cart and run over to see how much they are. I really flipping like the Golden Girls. I think I secretly am one. Anyway, my cart is mucho in the way and a guy comes up and it takes him a moment to maneuver around it. When I notice this I say, "Uhh, sorry I abandoned ship there." . . .in a really awkward voice.

The guy just looked at me.

Why do I say things like that? Fail.

Right. Over and out.

Happy finals everyone!

Ding Donging Merrily

Again, I had to steal a photo. . . I really need to find my camera cord!

Well, last night was our last Madrigal practice! I really enjoyed all the time I spent preparing for Madrigal, the actual concerts were soo fun (even though I was afraid my skirt was going to fall off once. . .), and the time spent with the cast was so great.

Every single cast member was so kind and caring and I'm so happy to have been with them.

I mean, I know I was super stressed about it in the beginning, but I got used to the music around the third practice and I was good to go! (Not to mention Amy came to be our driving voice for the altos. And we needed her.).

I've always been a static artist, but it was nice to do something that would never exist but once. My paintings will always stay the same, but Madrigal will never be exactly like that ever again. I'm glad to say that I was apart of something that will never be but once.

No wonder performing arts people are so emotional. I don't know how to handle it!

That was slightly a joke, but slightly not at the same time.

Okay, I'm going to church! Over and out!

Suprise Sushi

Erm . . . so it's possible that I can't find the cord that connects my camera to the computer . . .

So, thank you Maddie for providing this photo via Facebook. I appreciate it!

I haven't updated this in forever, so sorry. I had mass amounts of homework and things to do this past week and most likely this upcoming week. So, don't expect much from me . . .

Well, I had an amazing weekend! We took our annual trip to see The Nutcracker. And, you know how I said the seats were seven rows away? I'm a complete liar. We were in the second row! Ugh, it was AMAZING.

Thank you Lester! Also, it snowed sooo much. Normally, I'm really not a fan of the whole "snow" thing. The snow on Saturday was really pretty though . . . and not all slippery and trying to kill us.

Murderous snow is bad. If I can slip on it and break my wrist (not that I ever did that . . . in 9th grade. Definitely not.) or have a wreck then I'm not a fan.

We all bought seven dollar trees from Garden Ridge. There's a reason they are seven dollars. I put mine up in my room last night and you can see through it. I sent a photo to Ben Arthur who said it was pathetic because he could see through it. I don't think it's that bad, but you can slightly see through it. . .a lot. The ornaments are adorable though!

I'm happy that the Nutcracker wasn't bald like last year. He looked like Lord Voldemort (speaking of which the ABC Family Harry Potter marathon is on. Holla.).

And, I'm especially thankful that I have such amazing people in my life. I'm so happy I got to spend time with some of my very favorite women in the world this weekend.

Oh, and p.s. my favorite part of the ballet was when a little girl in front of me leaned in to her mom and asked, "Mom, why are the boys not wearing pants? I don't like it!"

Mimi and Pops are coming to town!

You know why I love my friends?

Because they understand the importance of
a) Disney
b) pajamas
c) the combination of both Disney and pajamas

So, in a bit we are going to see the new Disney Rapunzel movie (pictured left) in our pajamas. I have all new pajamas for the occasion.

My Mimi bought be a purple button-up flannel nightgown with owls all over it. I'm tempted to wear it to school . . . I suppose I should bring up a Pajama Day for the next Spirit Week in the next Student Council meeting, eh?

Well, my Thanksgiving was more than swell. I hope yours was also! I had three Thanksgivings this year: one with friends, one at my aunts, and one at the Burris household.

I will not eat for another year.

That's totally a lie. My Mimi took us out to eat today.

But, I slightly love the occasional melodrama.

This upcoming weekend I'm going to the Nutcracker Ballet at Butler University with four of my favorite women in my life: Rebecca Burris, Maddie Burris, Kedra Burris, and Laura Barlow. And, you want to know something so insanely exciting that I can hardly contain my joy and I want to spin around and shriek a little?

Lester got us tickets that are only SEVEN rows away from the orchestra and stage! Mehhhhh . . . so good!

You know what I love?

Martha Stewart's website.

Peace out lovely readers who I could probably name off.

We will miss you Dobby.

Well, Harry Potter was woderful, amazing, splendid, and any other word that could mean great. I was completely enthralled the entire movie. You could have slapped me across the face and I would have still been staring at the screen. I'm just letting you know.

Those are the tee-shirts I made.

I put entirely too much effort into them.

You know what the best part of getting to see Harry Potter was? I watched it in Nashville!

This means I got to see Caroline, Lukey, and Nikki. I also got to go to Sanctuary which is always uplifting and makes me feel so peaceful and happy. It's a really great thing they've got going.

Friday I got to sit in a surface design class in the new Art/Engineering building at Lipscomb. That building is legit. It's perfect. It's got so much sunlight coming in and it's so white and bright. I can't wait to take classes there, I will be soooo happy.

Let me tell you something. I love Lipscomb. You will probably want to punch me if I keep talking about it, but I can't stop. I just adore it. I can't wait to take classes, live in the dorm room, complain about food, and wait in line at Starbucks and Seattle's Best. I can't wait to not make my bed, skip showers, go to chapel, and walk to class in the rain and complain about it. College life is something I've been craving for a long time now.

I mean, I'm aware that getting to college doesn't mean that my life will magically become perfect. I still have a lot to work through and a lot to tackle. I just can't wait for this next chapter in my life.

But, let's not wish our lives away.

Skittles Crazy Cores

We went to Little Nashville for Katie's Birthday this weekend. We had so much fun!

That is a resulting photo. I failed at making a kissy face. I look . . . well I have no idea what kind of face that is.

I have fallen in love with a very endearing, quirky freshman girl in my last period class, Fashion. She cracks me up.

The thing is, the girl's in the class (whom I love) all treat me so funny. They complement all the time, like I'm some strange breed of girl.

Dedra Dille, who I used to ride the bus with told me that I talked and dressed differently, but I'm normal. It was in an incredulous tone. It made me laugh.

Back to Kim! This is the song she wrote about me yesterday:
"Hey Melissa,
This is your song . . .
She sits two seats down.
Never wearing a frown.
It's that Wilson girl with her hair in curls.
Wearin dresses all day cuz she likes it that way.
Who needs shoes?
Melissa's feet are nude.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
She likes belts over her clothes and slips on her feet.
Yeah, she is the one you want to meet.
MELISSA! (scream)
Oh melissa. (whisper)
. . .she grabbed my rump . . .
oh melissa (whisper)
This songs for yooouuu.
Oh what would I doooo?
Without melissa!"

Thank you Kim!

Oh, this girl got her cartilage pierced.

The lady told us it was twenty dollars, and she seemed so suprised when Jocelyn and I both handed over twenty dollars. She meant twenty dollars combined.

We were swindled.

This girl got accepted!

Okay, you know that the thing pictured left I have been waiting for since 7th grade.

So, you will imagine how insanely excited I am right now?

When I first saw it I couldn't breathe.

Then, I screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

Then, I called people and texted and texted and called.

Oh, happy day. You cannot believe how excited I am.

I need to go gallop around my house.

Picture this.

I did this Mother Teresa last year, but I found the photo of it and thought I would share.

I'm super proud of it. I really adore the Mother.

I changed the blog for the last time, if you don't like it let me know! I'm not technologically advanced and I think there may be some problems with it. Just let me know, eh?

You will notice the added Mr. T quote of the day.

Yeah, it's exciting. I'm aware.

We are doing a comparative critique over Stanley Milgram and two other author's who DO NOT support his experiments. I'm really enjoying it. It's super interesting.

I don't think that the experiment can be compared to the obedience that happened in Hitler's Germany, I think it is more of a study of situational obedience. But, that's just me. I mean, come on. The SS and the Nazi's viewed the people they were murdering as lowly and not worth consideration. They viewed their leader's as correct and wanted to follow them. In Milgram's experiment the subject's did not want to hurt the "students" and they had not reason to trust the experimenter and they had no direct escape route.

Maybe I'm getting too into this project. Or, maybe I'm not in it enough. I'm really interested in it.

Also, in an experiment aren't you supposed to be testing? What exactly was Milgram testing?

He was more of a dramatic than a scientist. And, that's fine with me.

It's interesting all the same.

My fish is still alive, just so you know.

Long live Albus.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

No photo today.

Not putting in the effort.

Also, no one wrote back last post, so this is the new blog style and I'm quite happy with it.

Saturday morning.

Lizzy, Kaitlyn, Jocelyn, and Slone are over.

500 Days of Summer.
Coffee.
Laying all over my livingroom with the fireplace going.
At least eight blankets and 7 pillows chilling all over.
It's freezing face outside.
Dad is raking leaves.
Asks if we want him to order pizza.
The answer is yes.
I heard my phone go off forever ago.
Never checked it.
Blues Brother's bobble head on the shelf next to the fireplace.
As is a bowl I made in Ceramics.

Shnew Shlook.

Do we like this new blog look?

We cannot decide.

Hollar at your girl, eh?

Over and out.

I really need to shave my legs.

So, this girl hasn't been at school the past two days.

Monday was kind of a mental health day, I didn't sleep at all Sunday night and I was super sore from being cold all night. . . so I took the day off. I only planned on being late, but I thought, "What the hey. I'm not missing anything."

So, I hung out in Gary's office.

Well, karma was feeling extra sinister.

Last night I legitimately did not sleep at all because I was fighting back the urge to throw up. I lost the battle at 4:30 this morning and ran to the bathroom.

I will do all I can to not throw up. I think it's the most awful thing ever. And, in the very off chance that I actually do throw up I'm emotionally scarred for about a 24 hour period.

You may wonder why I put a photo of myself up. I don't take photos of myself, but I was playing around with my new camera. The screen flips out, so you can see. This was a result of me playing with that. I found it extremely humorous and thought I should share it.

I obviously wasn't worried about smiling or even making a normal face. I was too bust looking insanely perplexed about the flip-out screen on black and white mode.

I am so sick of laying on my butt and watching television. I watched Julie and Julia. It was pretty amazing.

In rebellion of my lazy state, I decided to craft it up. I'm dying coffee filters to turn into paper peonies because all the Lencan pottery in my room is looking really empty.

Over and out. Let's hope tomorrow I will be venturing to school.

I can't believe I'm writing that.

Translyvanian Convention.

Today is officially Halloween!

So, Merry Halloween!

There's us as the elements. It goes in this order: water, earth, wind, and fire. I know we look super legit. You can be seriously jealous if you want, I wouldn't blame you at all.

I'm watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show right now. I always forget how insane it is.

I love Glee and they did the Picture Show for their Halloween show. I realized I hadn't watched it in a while. . .saw it was on. . .now I'm watching it and I can't turn it off. But it's just so weird. Really really weird.

I suppose it isn't much weirder than Labyrinth, but it's a whole lot more raunchy.

Today was the first Madrigal practice that Jocelyn and I went to. . . Madrigal is this Renaissance time period singing where we get dressed up in time period clothing, sing the music, and all that jazz. People pay twenty dollars to come see it. . .so I feel this overwhelming pressure to do really awesome.

Except for this one little problem called I'm not fully aware of how to read music. I never had any need to. I don't play instruments and Junior High Choir was pointless so I didn't learn how to read music then either.

Also, all of the people there are amazing singers. . .and well. . .I'm not awful but I'm nowhere near the level of these people.

Curse you Gary Spear for doing this to me!

There's going to be a lot of practicing for me in the next 6 weeks.

The Local Natives

Welp, that us last year for halloween.

We were some pretty hot construction workers.

I flipping love Halloween!

Tonight is the Halloween girl's night which means we dress up and eat way too much and pretty much act like insane people all night.

This year Katie, Rebecca, Jocelyn and I are going to be the four elements! I'm Earth because I'm the most granola of us all, Katie is Fire because she's a ginger, Rebecca is Air because she wants to hairspray her hair to the side, and Jocelyn is water because. . .that's what was left.

Technically I'm Earth and Mother Nature, so I'm going to wear a pillow up my dress to look like I'm pregnant. I tried it yesterday. . .I really just look like I have a pillow in my dress. Fail. I got some packing tape to fix that square pillow, round stomach problem.

I'm gonna go hit the showers so I can redo my hair all crazy with flowers up in it.

Spake Exploration

I'm really craving some primo beach time right now.

You want to hear some awful news?

This girl isn't going to Europe anymore. I cried and cried and cried. There weren't enough people who signed up and actually paid the registration costs. . . so the trip got cut.

I'm really disappointed.

I slept so hardcore last period today that I had a dream. That has not happened in a long time. Thankfully, a girl across from me slammed her hands down on the table while telling a story and woke me up. I might not have woken up to the bell if she had not done that.

You want to hear some exciting news?

I'm going to be in Nashville for the premiere of Harry Potter with Caroline and Luke and maybe Nikki? That would be preferable. We are going down for a Lipscomb trip and we all know how happy that makes me.

And you know what is amazing-er? I will interview while I'm down there and the whole application process will be over. Then the waiting not so patiently process will begin. I will probably throw up when I get that letter in the mail.

I will throw up more if it's a "no thanks" letter.

I have no back up plan.

I don't plan on needing a back up plan.

Okay, I have a two page paper to write over whether or not Amanda Spade thinks obesity should be classified as a disease. Oh joy.

Over and out.

Home is whenever I'm with you.

Ah, what an amazing Thursday.

Wake up at 7:30 and get ready, the Parsley clan rolls up my driveway at 8:45, head off to Louisville to have breakfast with Miss Ashley Samuel, and drink plenty of amazing coffee.

It was pretty much wonderful to see Ashley. It had been way too long and a half.

Then, we brought Jake home for work and picked up Abby, Lindsay, and Lizzy and headed to volleyball sectionals! And, I must mention that we went to Dairy Queen. Icecream might make you fat but people who count calories can stick that in their juicebox because I kind of love icecream. . .

Even more exciting, the volleyball girls won their first game so they have another on Saturday! Everyone should come, it's kind of a big deal.

You should know something about me. . .when I'm sleepy I get insanely punchy. Slap happy. Completely insane. Then, I crash. Then, the hyperness comes again. Then, I crash. . .it's a cycle until I can finally fall asleep somewhere.

So, Elizabeth Chastain my lovely friend. . .thank you so much for putting up with me. It was a pretty special time. And, everyone else in the car. . .thanks for not punching me in the throat to make me shut up. Although, I'm sure that I very well deserved it.

Twenty questions was a good time.

If I was in my prom dress on a magic carpet flying North at 70 miles per hour and the sun was setting, how long would it take me to knit a fair isle sweater?

The answer is yes. And gummy bears.

Well, here you go.

I find myself writing in my diary (I keep a blog and a
diary. . . it's whatever) and only writing questions. Questions upon questions upon questions.

Usually these questions are meant to be prayers.

Because I'm just confused.

It's taken me a couple days to gather my thoughts on this. Tim, Ethan, Peter. Three boys from here that have committed suicide within the past year. Not only that, but a boy from a town close by also committed suicide last week. He was friend's with a friend of mine, Becky.

What is up?

I mean, seriously? This needs to stop. This darkness that is engulfing lives and this inability to find or receive love or whatever this is has got to stop! Four teens in a year. Three within weeks.

That's someones brother, friend, son, schoolmate. . . it just makes me angry right now. I'm not sure how else to feel about it. I have no idea how the families of these people are brushing their teeth in the morning, putting on socks, digging their keys out of their purse, pushing buttons on the microwave, waiting at a red light, folding back their blankets to climb into bed, and flipping out the light at night. Does normal just seem shook up? I have no idea.

I don't know what it feels like to lose someone very close to me.

I wasn't close with Ethan, but I still felt like normal wasn't normal. Like I was sucked into some strange place where black was white and I had to see a classmate of mine in a casket. That wasn't supposed to happen.

I can't imagine what Toby and Evan are going through.

I don't know why I'm choosing now to write about this. I could have a couple days ago.

I just didn't feel like it.

Breakfast.

Sunday mornings are kind of an amazing thing.

Yesterday was a really great Saturday! Callie-Ann is home so Lindsay, Jocelyn, Callie-Ann, and I loaded up and Lindsay's car to go to Noodles and Company, Target, and Old Navy.

I really do love Target and Old Navy.

That night Jocelyn, Darci, Rebecca, and I went to Lindsay's sister to keep Lindsay company while she watched her adorable but dramatic niece, Sophia. I adore Sophia. She better be an actress when she's older because that girl excels in the theatrics.

She had a screaming fit when she woke up and her mom was gone at work, poor thing. Darci's mom got her calmed down eventually and we walk around the Square to get her calmed down. So, after everything in Hurricane Sophia had calmed down we headed back up to the apartment to watch a movie.

Sophia walks around on her tiptoes. It's my favorite.

Bug update: still haven't found it. I'm assuming that it is gone.

If you saw my bedroom you would shudder. I do, everytime I walk in.

After church today I'm going to dominate it.

Oh, and I got this new deoderant I like a lot. It's Toms of Maine or something like that.

Okay bye.

Key in the ignition.

Lately, I feel like I have so much to do but I'm not accomplishing anything at all?

Darn it procrastinations.

I picked up crayon art.

Oh, yeah. It's like kindergarten but quite challenging. I crayoned (that's the verb of to crayon?). . .oh how about color? Fail. Anyway, I colored a goat last night using only four crayons. Very exciting, let me tell you.

So, Lindsay and I went to Wal-Mart and I bought myself a beautiful pack of 96 Crayola crayons. They smell wonderful.

Tonight was my best friend Rebecca's senior night for volleyball. It made me slightly sad, but so excited for the future. It was strange watching her play her last normal volleyball game and knowing I was never going to be sitting in the stands again like that.

Today was the yearbook photos. The whole Senior class gets a photo together. The yearbook lady yelled, "This is the last time you will all be in a photo together." Thanks for making that completely depressing yearbook lady. I feel like Ethan got left out, like he should have been in a row somewhere standing by us.

Well, back to Senior Nights. I want Senior Nights for people like me that don't play sports! I'm super active in the school, make good grades, do art, and numerous other things but I don't get recognized for it. Is that bad of me to want some recognition? And, I'm not the only one who feels that way. Just because we don't play sports doesn't mean that we are completely worthless to the school. Just saying.

I'm gonna start ranting.

Stop me now.

Over and out.

It's a Christmas Miracle.

Welp, this past weekend was my last Fall Retreat. As a camper, at least.

I was the second oldest camper after Darci.

How weird.

I remember my first Fall Retreat. It was freezing. And Wes and the Newburgh girls were there. I wore Gary's jacket and we had campfire because there wasn't a burn ban.

Good times.

This growing up thing is kinda weird. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm definatly a fan.

I stayed in Bethel with Rebecca, Darci, Jocelyn, Kaitlyn, and so many junior high girls. Did I ever go through that loud, obnoxious, yet strangely endearing and strangle-worthy junior high phase? I'm gonna go with a no, but I'm sure I'm lying.

Saturday during clean up time I leaned over the edge of my bunk and yelled, "Let's tell secrets and play Truth or Dare!!!" Completely kidding.

Answer I got, "OMG YES!"

I flopped back on my bunk, sighed, and napped.

I bought a Nick Jonas song today. I blame the Junior High girls. I secretly like the Junior High girls a lot, don't tell them that though. They will try to give me a make-over or talk about boys.

There was the most amazing bug on my wall last week, but I thought of it just now and thought I should share. It looked like a ginormous centipede/moth. It was real huge and had a gazillion legs and big attanae.

I didn't kill it, I'm sure it's just peruzing around my room right now. I'm gonna name it Albert unless it crawls on me, then I will name it Dead.

My Andy Warhol picture will not hang straight, it angles itself just a little off to drive me completely insane.

Ten points Warhol, but you gotta stay straight.

Still in the processing stage.

This has been the longest seven days of my life.

Yesterday was Ethan's funeral.

The place was packed.

They closed the casket in front of us.

That's the last memory I'm going to have of Ethan, and it's going to haunt me for a while. Kramer said that it was good to have that finality and closure, but I think I would rather remember him how he was. . .not a person being closed into a shiny casket.

I couldn't go to school after the funeral, so I ate with people at church and took a nap on Gary's couch in his office. It was a really hard day.

Oh, and to all you Neoseeker's! My friend started a memory notebook about Ethan, so if you want to add anything just post a comment. I will write it in there for you. I'm sure that it would be appreciated to have memories from people from every aspect of his life.

Well, all that said. On to other things, yeah?

Well, I'm not sure I have anything else to add.

I bombed the Calculus test today, I started to hand it to Mr. Kearn's then took it back. . .then handed it to him for real. Then we looked over it. . .bad move.

Oh shwell, it happens. Calculus is hard stuff. I'm about over limits and things. Good thing Mr. Kearns is pretty much amazing.

Glee wasn't that good either.

Wow, I have a lot of positivity going on! Okay here are three good things about my day to make up for all the pessimistic stuff:
1. Mrs. Mason brought me a salad and coffee for lunch! Twas amazing.
2. We have an epic design in works for the Art Club tee-shirts this year.
3. I took an early shower and have hardly any homework so I can get more sleep tonight.

Over and out.

Step In Time!

It's strange to write about happy things, but I'm going to because yesterday was a very happy day for me.

But, before I start that: Ethan's visitation is Monday and his funeral is Tuesday at the Church of God. I hope everyone comes to show his family how much we all really do care.

Oh, and p.s. Ethan's stats for this blog are now well over 2,000 in three days. I haven't counted yesterday and today in yet. There's a lot of love, people.

Okay, on to happier things.

Yesterday I went to Indy to meet Maddie (pictued with me left) with Rebecca and Lindsay. Our goal: to see the Mary Poppins musical.

I adored it. I've always loved Mary Poppins. This one was quite a bit different than the movie, but they pulled it off. The set designs were so smooth and imaginative. And...I knew she was going to fly but I still got chills when she did it. Ah! Too amazing.

Guess who is buying the soundtrack today?

Oh, yeah. That kid would be me.

Lester met us for dinner at O Charley's and it was good to see him! I love getting to go up and see Lester and Maddie. I miss Maddie so much, she is such a wonderful person. If you don't know her, then you need to fix that problem. Same story for Lester.

One of my favorite moments was when we were getting ready to leave and we are standing around Rebecca's car and we can hear someone watching the Vintage 21 Jesus Videos in an upstairs apartment. It was awesome. Go and type that into Youtube--Vintage 21 Jesus Videos. They are great.

Then, we got Dairy Queen and shivered and Lindsay got a little punchy and we laughed more.

Good times.

Well, off to church. I found my bible and my notebook which is a plus.

Second Day.

You know what is completely insane?

This blog had almost 700 views today.

That's more than it has had in it's life.

All because of Ethan.

Who am I to be a leading source on the internet for information on Ethan? We weren't best friends or relatives, but we grew up in school together. He was always Ethan who fell asleep in Spanish, or Ethan who fell out of his seat in Psych or Ethan who always had the best witty remarks that made the whole class laugh.

I watched them clean out his locker today.

It was horrible.

About a month ago the school planned for a speaker to come and talk about violence in schools, bullying, suicide, school shootings and the lot. Despite his bad feelings about it, the speaker still came. I'm sure you are aware already, but the day was intense. But, we all needed to hear it I think. Out of all the Juniors and Seniors about three-fourths of us were up together crying and hugging and crying and hugging and crying some more.

Mitchell High School was brought to its knees today.
That's the only illustration I can think of to make you understand.

Oh, and p.s. I looked at where everyone was getting the link to this and the majority came from Neoseeker.com. I'm not completely sure what is, but I looked at Ethan's profile and all the comments and discussions.

And unfortunatly people, this isn't some well thought out joke.

But, I really wish it was.

First Thoughts.

This is a really sad post, so don't read it if you don't want to read anything depressing.

This is how the story starts. . .my alarm clock goes off at almost the exact time that I hear an ambulance on what I think is my road. I slap the alarm clock and peer out my window, but it's still dark and I can't see anything. . .even though my face is pressed against the glass.

I go to school, a little later than normal.

First period is art, I finished my pastel painting of the lion.

Mrs. Mason likes it, tells me to hang it up.

Go to my locker.

Get to my second period class that is one of my favorites, Advanced Psychology.

Kim Charles has a bag of whales and offers some to me.

I graciously decline.

I notice that Dr. Phillips, Mr. Malone, and Mrs. Sears are standing with Ms. Romer outside of the room.

I didn't think anything of it.

They all walk in the room.

I didn't think anything of it.

Ms. Romer's neck is splotchy red and she stands in the front of the room with Dr. Phillips.

I start to wonder.

She shakily sits on her stool.

I'm worried.

"Ethan Beyers committed suicide this morning."

I'm floored.

Glance at the empty desk where he should be.

Everyone around me is sobbing, I'm shaking trying to hold it back. . .but there is no use.

You should know something. If someone said, "Pick twenty people who you might suspect could commit suicide." Ethan would never been on that list.

He had this wonderful dry sense of humor, constantly fell asleep in classes, and had long blond hair that he always flicked out of his face. He carried like six packs of gum in his pocket to hand out to everyone, and he always wore band tee-shirts. When we played Werewolf he gave me the cupid card because he knew I really wanted it, and he laughed when I paired Kim and Nick together.

I'm angry, confused, and so so sad. For his family, for the fact that he felt so sad or alone or whatever it was that drove him to do this, and that everyone else is so sad. I'm angry that he did this to his family, and guilty that I wasn't intentional enough to know that he felt so bad.

Tomorrow is going to be a really hard day at Mitchell High School.

I'm not a spy.

So, I'm pretty sure that the whole Wilson family will be diabetics by the end of this week.

We have two different cakes, two things of brownies, cookies, and who knows what else in our house right now. . .for birthdays.

My brother Avery turned sixteen yesterday.

I shudder at the thought of that boy driving in his motocross flatbill, rap music, and over all bad buttness he thinks he has.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I love the kid. . .but he's a teenage boy.

Welp, the festival is over and out. I'm happy about it.

I borrowed the Irresitable Revolution from Gary's office admist protesting. He said he could only read half of it. You know, I've noticed you either adore or loathe the book. . .so we will see what categorie I fall under.

I have school tomorrow. Let's see if the whole sleep thing actually happens tonight.

I pretty much screwed my chances by taking a two hour nap today. . .fail!

The Case Study

There's this thing about shaving your legs called sometimes you cut your leg.

You feel it slice your leg and there's this moment of suspension when you look at your leg wondering if it's going to bleed a river or not.

You wait that painful few seconds. . .and then. . .

Yep. I'm bleeding. Fail.

Good thing I got the coupon for Band-Aids at CVS the other day.

This week is the Persimmon Festival week here in the Metropolis of a town I live in.
Not to be cruel, but. . .oh . . .how do I say this?

People really crawl out of their holes. Yeah, that wasn't so nice. But really, I see people that I didn't know existed here. Very interesting people.

Some good things about the Persimmon Festival: persimmon pudding, watching the square dancing old people in the parade, counting mullets, and Caroline is coming up!

My fish is still alive.

I'm so glad that it is becoming fall time. I love fall.

Mind you, it's still over 90 degrees outside here. . .but we can pretend.

Here's some things I love about fall:
-Chilly mornings drinking coffee curled in a ball on the couch
-Thick sweaters
-Sitting close to the people next to you at Fall Retreat while singing at campfire
-Persimmon pudding (second reference. . .)
-Skinny jeans and boots with thick socks I most likely got from the drawer in my dad's room
-Pumpkin Spice Latte
-The leaves looking like they are on fire
-Seeing your breath when you first leave your house in the morning
-Slouchy knit berets, scarves, and fingerless gloves
-My yearly reading of Harry Potter
-The crunch of leaves as you walk (or jump) on them
-Halloween, of course! (get ready for our costumes, it's gonna be epic)
-Oh, did I say scarves yet?
-Wait, how about scarves. . .have I said that?
-I got another one- scarves!

Ah, good night.

Where the Heart is.

I'm in this weird knitting mood lately.

Don't get me wrong, I really love to knit.

But, it's almost becoming an addiction.

I love starting something and watching it form as I keep clicking my needles. I'm working on this navy blue scarf right now. It's made up of twelve pieces, each one looks like a chinese fan. Then, when they are all done you sew them together so it has a scalloped look.

Ugh, I'm telling you. I love it.

Just looking around my room I see three other knitting projects I need to finish. A cowl, a hat, and another scarf.

In my purple Jansport bookbag is my Writing and Reading for ACP Composition book right now. And, inside that book is an article we were assigned to read that I am really putting off.

I'm yearning for a good roadtrip right now.
To anywhere.
Just go until that gas runs out.

You should listen to Too Young to Burn by Sonny and the Sunsets.

Over and out.

Can't Touch This

Today was football homecoming!
And that means:
-Pep Session that gets us out of the last two periods
-Football Game (That we flipping won! So, we stormed the field! Which was really fun. I almost fell flat on my face, but I was holding my friend's hand so it was okay.)
-Homecoming Dance. . .which isn't so fun.

Let me just tell you about homecoming dance.
Think Junior High drama, mediocre dance and rap music spun by an annoying d.j., and enough grinding to get a girl pregnant.

I have to go to dances because I'm on student council. . .

Lizzy and I finally got over it and left.
We decided it was so lame and that we could have a much better dance party on our own. So, we did.
It's called turning on my car and blasting M.C. Hammer in the parking lot.
It was so amazing.

I got my new camera in the mail. It's wonderful.

I haven't chosen a name worthy of it yet, but I'm leaning toward Mr. Darcy.

Welp, today was the most stressful day ever. . .it involved a possible plagiarising scare that ended up not being cheating at all (it's always good to confess when you think you've done something wrong!), turning in the most stressful practice summary, and then a failed nap attempt.

So, tomorrow morning I'm getting up no earlier than 9 and then I'm going to the local bakery to get a doughnut and a Cafe Mocha with raspberry.

Good night my friends.

Sale yarn.

I have homework to go with my homework.
Good thing I'm not sleepy at all.
On account of the fact that I fell asleep while watching Phantom of the Opera today between churches.

Pictured right is my big girl ring I got for my birthday!
Exciting stuff, I tell you.

I don't really ever wear jewelry, so this is a nice change.

You know what I'm so excited about?

Sweatshirt and shorts and socks and Birkenstocks weather.
Good stuff.

My October is going to be so exciting! Mary Poppins musical, Fall Retreat, possible trip to the zoo, Fall Break and whatever merriment it holds, and Halloween.

Halloween is one my favorite holidays. I love playing dress up.

Mister Gary Spear is driving me crazy!

I hope you read this!

And you know why you are driving me crazy?

Because you really care about me and are trying to make my life better in the hardest and only possible way!

I suppose I'm a very "repressed" person. . .and I tend to compartmentalize my life.
I've got it down to an art, even. And now Gary and many other people who care about me are pointing that out and are trying to get me to work on all my repression. It sucks.

Good thing I love Gary Spear.

Getting carded.

Hey, so guess what?
I'm a legal adult.
Like exactly right now.
Craziness!

I'm pretty sure someone is pulling a prank on me.
Like my father is going to run up the stairs and yell, "Ah! You aren't really a legal adult yet! We have been pulling a prank on you for all these years!"

And I will yell and slam my door, but secretly think that it makes sense. . .

I mean, think of it! Only two years away from my second decade.

A decade seems like such a long time. I suppose it's not though.

So, I was thinking: "Self, what have I learned these past years?"

Here's some information I find important...things I've lived through to learn. "Important" things, aye?

- Friends are like duct tape, they can fix anything, hold you together, and can make the prettiest and awesome things.
- Tea is better when the water is heated in a kettle, not in the microwave.
- Keeping a fish alive more than a week seems to be a miracle for me.
- Never through away your VHS player, because there's nothing like a Disney movie with friends.
- When you fall down, pick yourself up off the ground, laugh like mad, then put on a band-aid. Always in that order.
- When you lose the remote, just get off your butt and press the buttons on the actual television.
- Mirrors are meant to be used sparingly.
- Always try to follow the rules, except when painting and playing checkers.
- The darkest lettuce is the best.
- The best safety net isn't made out of rope, but good relationships with people who love God more than you.
- Locking your door doesn't lock out the bad things, just like keeping your mouth shut doesn't hold the hurt in.
- "Being faithful in the small things shows God that you can be trusted with the big things." -Gary Spear.
- Photography is wonderful and lovely, but you have to learn not to live life through a camera lens.
- Sunshine is a wonderful thing made to make people happy. Use it!
- People all over the world are the same in the way that they all just want to be loved.
- You don't have to travel a million miles to find someone to help. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't travel a million miles to help someone, either.
- Although overpriced on Itunes, music is always worth it.
- There is nothing like a cabin full of girls to make you feel truly happy and loved.
- Hold hands with everyone.
- Find places you are truly happy in and hold onto them, and don't think that it will be somewhere obvious.
- There is no greater blessing than colors.
- You see the trend of the importance of having a critical mind and a skepticism toward everything. But, amidst this questioning society and the heartless plundering through books and thoughts. . .try to find a light in everyone you meet and everything you do and everything you do. That little light, that outlook is worth more than a million books and websites and questions. It has the power to rock worlds, make people smile, and turn dark days into happy days.
- In everything you do, do it for more than just you.

Once upon a time. . .

Fairy tales are something I've always been latched onto.

When I was little I watched all of the Disney movies. When I got a little older I read the gloomy stories of The Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson.

I like the dark ones, the ones in other languages and cultures, and the ones that make you feel warm inside. I like happy endings and princes that save the day. I like shadows, things that lurk in the woods, and fauns.

I've always secretly wondered what it would be like to fall into a life like that, an exciting one.

I'm watching Pan's Labyrinth right now.

I don't get disturbed easily. It really does take a lot.

I watch scary movies like they are going out of style.

But, something about Pan's Labyrinth haunts me and stirs up that feeling of wanting to be apart of an adventure. This movie is in no way a happy one. It's dark, cryptic, murderous, and creepy. The ending is death.

So why is it that I can't get enough? What is it about me that grabs onto these stories and holds on for dear life?

I read a book called Captivating a year or so ago. It's by Stasi Eldredge, the wife of the popular author, John Eldredge.

I remember that she wrote about how a woman is driven by three needs: the need to be romanced, the need to unveil beauty, and the need to be a part of a great adventure.

Is this true? Is this the adventure-some part of me?

The part of me that drives my need to travel and explore? Is this the part of me that drives my desire to do missionary work?

It's funny how fairy tales and real life adventures are so different. How to me right now, my dragon that I am battling is high school. My prince coming to save me is Lipscomb University. My crown is my camera. My evil step-mother really kind of was my evil step-mother. And, instead of singing to animals. . .I sing in the car.

It's just funny.

The day is young.

Another Friday, another lost football game.

Just saying.

Tonight, Darci, Lindsay, and I terrorized Starbucks (yum). I hadn't been in a long while.

Tomorrow, we (by we I mean Darci, Lindsay, Rebecca, Alli, Jocelyn, and I) are getting up bright and early and going up to Bloomington for the 4th Street Art Festival. Then, we are going to eat at Moe's (double yum), and head off to BestBuy to get a new camera for my birthday!
Ah, I'm super pumped.

Tonight at the football game I shivered. I shivered.

It was cold enough that I shivered. And needed a sweatshirt.

Hallelujah. Just saying.

I love sweatshirt weather.

I've started my year long Bible reading on Youversion.com. Each day you get "assigned" so many bible verses to read. I'm doing it for discipline and to learn to love the bible as a piece of literature. I feel like I acknowledge the fact that it is a wonderful and important piece of literature for my life, but I don't appreciate it for what it is: a great book. It's so interesting and deep and twisting and just as entertaining, if not more than what I read.

I want to fall in love with it.

I am so excited about tomorrow, but I should really go to sleep now. Darci doesn't sleep, so she will be up for another 6 hours. I sleep more than I should sooo. . .stay classy San Diego.

Over and out.

It's all tetrisey.

My brother got in a moped wreck.

He looks like he got out of plane wreck.

He has roadburn under his nose, his knee is nasty, and his elbow is gross.

I walked into the kitchen after church and saw the bloody mess of my dumb brother and my jaw dropped.

"Dirtbike?" I ask.

"Moped." he says.

"You better come up with a better story." I laughed. But really, for that much damage he needs a more manly story.

I should be doing anything but blogging right now.

Okay, then. Wish me luck on Calculus and summaries for Lit/Comp.

Cold Coffee.

Yesterday and today I have been so tired, so I just curled up and took a nap.

I wish I was good at napping, but I'm not.

So those naps turned into two hour naps.

Which means tonight my sleep is also going to turn into a nap.

Fail.

I'm not an expert on politics, or even remotely devoted to watching and learning and caring. . .but I do watch the news every morning.

And I have been seeing so much Glenn Beck it makes me angry. First he pulls "the president's a racist" stunt, and now a overly religious "honor restoring" rally? I know that Glenn Beck really likes Glenn Beck. And now Glenn Beck really loves Jesus too. And this whole thing just feels wrong. Is that fair? Who knows.

Ugh, whatever. I never get fired up about political stuff. . .but this guy really grates on me.

I'm done ranting. What is ranting worth without action or help attached anyway?

I have more time consuming ACP homework, I suppose that I should start on.

But, I won't yet.

Just so you know.

Moo.

Hey girl hey.

I woke up about thirty minutes ago.

Just so you know that would be 8:00.

I rolled out of bed, the light just pouring in. . .and thought to myself, "Man, I really slept in."

The clock tells me otherwise.

Then I appropriately say, "Fail."

Last night was the away football game at Paoli, and we got killed. 32-0. Mind you, Paoli is 6th in the State right now. It was really depressing, let me tell you.

I started doing this European paper cutting called Scherenschnitte. It's German for "scissor cuts". It's paper cutting art. You cut very very intricate silhouette designs out of paper with really small scissors and craft knives. It's tedious and makes me want to scream every once in a while, but I really love the end product.

I'm just finishing my first one, it's a tree and at the base is a bench on either side. On one side sits a little old lady knitting and on the other a little old man reading a newspaper. Schpretty cute. And, of course I couldn't do the normal black paper. . .I did yellow.

You know what I hate, loathe, and abhor? When a friend is going through a difficult situation, that must happen. . .but there is no action you can take to make it any easier for them. You just have to sit back, be there for them, and pray.

I want to Superman spring into action anytime something bad happens to my friends, but sometimes it's not my place. Sometimes, it's only God's place to take action. And sometime's that makes me really mad.

Just wanted to say that.

Doubt it's worth much to say.

Volleyball tournament today, go jackets! (Especially the senior girls and Jocelyn!)